Girls World - funny :P

It's a Girl's World


If he is late for class,he's told,
"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late,then the bus was late.


If a girl is dressed as a boy,she is modern,says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl,"Has he escaped from the Zoo?"


If a boy talks with a girl,"I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy,then she is trying to be friendly.


When a girl cries,the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries,"Come on man:Don't be a girl".

20 Awesome !One liners

1. Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while
driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and
the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they
wanted cash.

5. A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've
purchased new school uniforms.

Funny Joke _ Arab -Pepsi Ad

A disappointed salesman of Pepsi returns from his Middle East
assignment.

A friend asks, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explains, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was
very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Pepsi is virtually
unknown there."

But, I had a problem....I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So, I
planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster - a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally
exhausted and panting ....

Second - the man is drinking our Pepsi ....

and Third - our man is now totally refreshed ....

Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, 
I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

Engineers VS Doctors!

message: 7 Engineers and 7 Doctors are going from PUNE to Mumbai. So
all of
them gather at Pune Station. Both groups are desperately trying to
prove their superiority.

SCENE 1 (PUNE- MUMBAI) :

7 engineers take only 1 Ticket and 7 doctors buy all 7 tickets..

Doctors are desperately waiting for TC to come......

When TC arrives, All 7 Engineers get in one toilet SO when TC
knocks, one hand comes out with the ticket and the TC goes
away....Doctors say "Dekh lenge"

NOW on return Journey All of them don't get a direct train to
PUNE.
So they all decide to take a Passenger till Lonavala, as from there
they can easily get a LOCAL to PUNE

Universal Laws - Not Taught!!

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law:
When yo u try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule:
At any event, the pe ople whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

And the last and best :
13. Murphy's Law
What has to go wrong will go wrong

Case Mystery in Hospital

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always died in the same bed and on all Sunday morning at 11a.m, regardless of their medical condition.
This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with the supernatural. No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.
So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on the next Sunday morning few minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off evil........
Ju st when the clock struck 11...

and then......



then.....




then........

Funny Hindi

: Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?
----- * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.

Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte hain

You have to Know _ Orkut

Today I was just browsing for funny stuff.. I got through an Old Article.Many of you might have read this. i am posting here for ppl. who havent.it may sound rude but you will enjoy it..!


OUGHT TO KNOW ABOUT ORKUT!!!

ONE
If you're ugly,
stop acting like you don't know it.
The captions under you picture that says
"top model pose"
"sexy bitch"
"arnt i hot"
doesn't convince anyone.

Couple Images for orkut

Images for Girls

Images for Boys

Stylish Images for Girls

Funny Cartoons - Telugu!

Enjoy Mallik and Sekhar Cartoons

Central Bank Of India - Upcoming Bank exams - 1163 clerks

Central Bank of Indiabecame a nationalised bank in 1969  & is one of the leading public sector banks in India.The bank is present across all states of the country with over 3500 branches.Central Bank of India has announced recruitment of1163 Clerks.

Post – Vacancies - Payscale:
Clerk – 1163 posts(across all states) – Rs.7200/-/19300

Dates: Online registration of applications – 9.11.2010 to 8.12.2010
Written Examination – February 13, 2011

Eligibility: Those interested to apply for Central bank of India clerk recruitment 2010,

* Age between 18 – 28yrs, as on 1.11.2010
* Must have Degree OR 60% marks in 10th std.OR 50% in std.12, as on 1.11.2010 
* Be able to read/ write & speak english & the language of the state applying for

* Should have computer course certificate or provide within 6 months after joining.

Selection: The process has Written Exam (Objective & Descriptive) &Interview.Candidates have to score qualifying marks in each objective paper, which also has negative marks for each wrong answer.Depending on the marks in test, those with high scores would be shortlisted for Interview process.

Fee: The application fee of Rs.250 (General/OBC) & Rs.50(SC/ST) has to be paid at any Central bank of India branch, with the given payment receipt.Candidates should  then submit their application online through the website www.centralbankofindia.co.in  & take a printout of the application for reference during interview.

Candidates are requested to read the advertisement of Central Bank of India clerk  recruitment before applying online, from the bank website here

Corporation Bank 398 posts - Upcoming Bank exams -

Corporation Bank is one of the leading public sector banks in India with headquarters in Mangalore, Karnataka.The bank has announced recruitment for 398 Officers in different scales, that also includes Probationary Officers

Post - Vacancies: (refer advt.for detailed list of positions)  

Probationary Officers – 82 posts

Marketing Officers – 100 posts
Total - 398 posts (across all scales)

Upcoming Bank exams - UCO bank-1050 vacancies

UCO Bank, with over 2000 branches is one among the leading public sector banks of India.Headquartered in Kolkata, the bank is operational since 1943.UCO Bank has announced recruitment of 1050 Probationary Officers.

Position – Vacancies - Payscale:
Probationary Officer – 1050 posts – Rs.14500/-/25700

Dates: Online registration of applications – 9.11.2010 to 30.11..2010 
Written Examination – 30.1.2011 

Friendship Quotes - I

"True friendship is like sound health; the value of it is seldom known until it be lost." 

- Charles Caleb Colton

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."

- Anais Nin

"My friends are my estate."

- Emily Dickinson

"A real friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out."

"A friend is one who walks in when others walk out" 

-Walter Winchell

Indian Round UP - 27th Nov

Politics & the Nation

• Ratan Tata says Radia tapes a smokescreen
• Ratan Tata, the chairman of India’s largest conglomerate, has described the media frenzy over the tape leaks featuring conversations between Niira Radia, the owner of a public relations agency, and prominent politicians, industrialists and journalists as a “smokescreen” which was deflecting attention from bigger scandals.
• Mr Tata suggests that the real scandal was out-of-turn allocation of spectrum and what he described as the “hoarding” of spectrum by some telecom companies.  Mr Tata said the government should hold a proper investigation to book the guilty.
• The tapes feature conversations between Ms Radia, Mr Tata and other industrialists, politicians and journalists. The tapes suggest that Ms Radia was lobbying for the continuation of Mr Raja as telecom minister after the 2009 elections.

Sharing Is Always A JOY.!

They say a problem shared is a problem halved and a happiness shared is a happiness doubled.  We are not made to live on our own; we are social beings and as such need to share our emotions. 

When times are tough it is so wonderful to feel you have a person to confide in, share your fears, worries and sadness with.  To feel you can share these emotions, shows much love and instils a deep sense of friendship and pride in the person you choose to confide in.  Just knowing we have someone to talk to about our deepest emotions is a comfort and makes us feel loved and stops us from feeling alone and desolate in our darkest hours.

Never Let Fear to Drop You down

Just as we set our aims and goals, we set our own limitations.  Consciously or unconsciously we allow fears to stop us doing many things.  

Sometimes we have deep desires to expand our wings, but fear of doing so, can makes us keep our wings closed.  Often it is the fear of the unknown or of risk that stops us from chasing our dreams.  These fears make us stay within the confines of our comfort zone, stopping us from venturing out and experimenting in the search of new pastures.