Girls World - funny :P

It's a Girl's World


If he is late for class,he's told,
"Time and Tide wait for none".
If she is late,then the bus was late.


If a girl is dressed as a boy,she is modern,says the world.
But if a boy is dressed as a girl,"Has he escaped from the Zoo?"


If a boy talks with a girl,"I think he is trying for her"
But if a girl talks with a boy,then she is trying to be friendly.


When a girl cries,the world is convinced of her
But when a boy cries,"Come on man:Don't be a girl".

Funny Joke _ Arab -Pepsi Ad

A disappointed salesman of Pepsi returns from his Middle East
assignment.

A friend asks, "Why weren't you successful with the Arabs?"

The salesman explains, "When I got posted in the Middle East, I was
very confident that I will make a good sales pitch as Pepsi is virtually
unknown there."

But, I had a problem....I didn't know how to speak Arabic. So, I
planned to convey the message through 3 posters...

First poster - a man crawling through the hot desert sand... totally
exhausted and panting ....

Second - the man is drinking our Pepsi ....

and Third - our man is now totally refreshed ....

Then these posters were pasted all over the place"

"That should have worked," said the friend.

The salesman replied, "Well, not only did I not speak Arabic, 
I also didn't realize that Arabs read from right to left..."

Universal Laws - Not Taught!!

1. Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

2. Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Kovac's Conundrum:
When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.

4. Cannon's Karmic Law:
If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.

5. O'brien's Variation Law:
If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

6. Bell's Theorem:
When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

7. Ruby's Principle of Close Encounters:
The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

8. Willoughby's Law:
When yo u try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

9. Zadra's Law of Biomechanics:
The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

10. Breda's Rule:
At any event, the pe ople whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

11. Owen's Law:
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

12. Howden's Law:
You remember you have to mail a letter only when you're near the mailbox.

And the last and best :
13. Murphy's Law
What has to go wrong will go wrong

Funny Hindi

: Have a nice day!
----- * Achcha din lo!

What's up?
----- *Uppar kya hai?

You're kidding!
----- *Tum bachcha bana rahe ho!

Don't kid me!
----- * Mera bachcha mat banaao!

Yo, baby! What's up?
-----* Beti Yo, uppar kya hai?

Cool man!
-----* Thandaa aadmi!

Check this out, man!
----* Iskee chaanbeen karo, aadmi!

Don't mess with me, dude.
----- * Mere saath gandagi mat karo, e vyakti.

She's so fine!
----- * Woh itnee baareek hai!

Listen buddy, that chick's mine, okay!?
----- * Suno dost, woh chooza mera hai, theek?

Hey good looking; what's cooking?
----* Arrey sundarta ki devi; kya pakaa rahee ho?

Are you nuts?
----- * Kya aap akhrot hain?

Son of a gun.
----- * Bachcha bandook ka.

Rock the party.
---- * Party mein patthar feko.

And the best ones are.....

How do you do?
----- * Kaise karte ho?

Keep in touch!
----- * Chhoote Raho.

Lets hang out!
----- * Chalo bahar latakte hain

Funfacts

• 1. On eBay, there are an average of $680 worth of transactions each second.

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  2. "Stewardesses" is the longest word that is typed with only the left hand.

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  3. 80% of all pictures on the internet are of naked women

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  4. In the 1980s, an IBM computer wasn't considered 100 percent compatible unless it could run Microsoft Flight Simulator*.

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  5. The world's first computer, called the Z1, was invented by Konrad Zuse in 1936. His next invention, the Z2 was finished in 1939 and was the first fully functioning electro-mechanical computer.

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  6. The first computer mouse was invented by Doug Engelbart in around 1964 and was made of wood.

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  7. Domain names are being registered at a rate of more than one million names every month.

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  8. There are approximately 1.06 billion instant messaging accounts worldwide.

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  9. The first banner advertising was used in 1994.

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  10. E-mail has been around longer than the World Wide Web.

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  11. The average computer user blinks 7 times a minute, less than half the normal rate of 20.

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  12. One of every 8 married couples in the US last year met online.

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  13. The average 21 year old has spent 5,000 hours playing video games, has exchanged 250,000 e-mails, instant and text messages and has spent 10,000 hours on the mobile phone.

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  14. By the year 2012 there will be approximately 17 billion devices connected to the Internet.

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  15. MySpace reports over 110 million registered users. Were it a country, it would be the tenth largest, just behind Mexico.

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  16. While it took the radio 38 years, and the television a short 13 years, it took the World Wide Web only 4 years to reach 50 million users.

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  17. There are approximately 1,319,872,109 people on the Internet.

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  18. For every 'normal' webpage, there are five porn pages.

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  19. Bill Gates' house was designed using a Macintosh computer.

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  20. The first domain name ever registered was Symbolics.com.

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  21. Another name for a Microsoft Windows tutorial is 'Crash Course'!

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Internet/Computer/Software Jokes

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT ...

1) I hated sleep.


************ *

2) I had enjoyed my life enough.


************ *

3) I couldn't live without tension.


************ * 

Eight words women use...

1.) 
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are 
right and you need to shut up. 

2.) 
Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more 
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Funny SMS.

"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the
Violin after the operation?"
"Yes of course...."
"Great ! I never could before"


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Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.


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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.


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Hilarious Jokes

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
~~~~~~
A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
~~~~~~~

Funny Tag LInes.

In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
************ ********* *****

On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
************ ********* *****

On another Septic Tank Truck:
'We're #1 in the #2 business'
************ ********* *****

At a Proctologist' s door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
************ ********* *****

MBA Vs BE Student

A MBA and a BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent,and
fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend. " look up
at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see millions of
stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Sardar At Hieghts..!

 some hilarious jokes. But friends, no offense meant.

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . ...
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

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Newton in Romantic Mood

U niversal L aw O f L ove:

" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From
One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "

10 most stupid questions

I am sure you will find the following very hilarious. Shared by a friend.

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-


1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again or should i try this time."

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?