Internet/Computer/Software Jokes

Top 7 reasons why I joined IT ...

1) I hated sleep.


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2) I had enjoyed my life enough.


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3) I couldn't live without tension.


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Eight words women use...

1.) 
Fine : This is the word women use to end an argument when they are 
right and you need to shut up. 

2.) 
Five Minutes : If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more 
minutes to watch the game before helping around the house. 

If Restaurants Functioned Like Microsoft

Patron: Waiter!

Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

Funny SMS.

"Doctor, doctor, will i be able to play the
Violin after the operation?"
"Yes of course...."
"Great ! I never could before"


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Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.


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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light
He saw me without problems, He created YOU.


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Hilarious Jokes

Lady : Is this my train?
Station Master : No, it belongs to the Railway Company.
Lady : Don't try to be funny. I mean to ask if I can take this train to New Delhi.
Station Master : No Madam, I'm afraid it's too heavy.
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A drunkard was brought to court.
Just before the trial there was a commotion in the gallery.
The judge pounded the gravel on his table and shouted, "Order, order."
The drunkard immediately responded, "Thank you, your honor, I'll have a scotch and soda."
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Funny Tag LInes.

In a Podiatrist's office:
'Time wounds all heels.'
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On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon :
Yesterday's Meals on Wheels
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On another Septic Tank Truck:
'We're #1 in the #2 business'
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At a Proctologist' s door:
'To expedite your visit please back in.'
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MBA Vs BE Student

A MBA and a BE go on a camping trip, set up their tent,and
fell asleep.

Some hours later, the BE wakes his MBA friend. " look up
at the sky and tell me what you see." The MBA replies, "I see millions of
stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Sardar At Hieghts..!

 some hilarious jokes. But friends, no offense meant.

Sardar declares:
.. . . I will never marry in my life &. . ...
.. . . I'll give same advice to my children also. .. . . .

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Newton in Romantic Mood

U niversal L aw O f L ove:

" Love Can Neither Be Created Nor Be Destroyed; Only It Can Transfer From
One Girlfriend To Another Girlfriend With Some Loss Of Money "

10 most stupid questions

I am sure you will find the following very hilarious. Shared by a friend.

10 most stupid questions people usually ask in obvious situations and some equally stupid answers:-


1. At the movies: When you meet acquaintances/ friends
Stupid Question:- Hey, what are you doing here?
Answer:- Well, it's so hot, there were no cool cabs so I thought i'd watch some advertisements in the cool comfort of the theatre.

2. In the bus: A fat girl wearing pointed high-heeled shoes steps on your feet
Stupid Question:- Sorry, did that hurt?
Answer:- No, not at all, I'm on local anesthesia...why don't you try again or should i try this time."

3. At a funeral:One of the teary-eyed people ask
Stupid Question:-Why, why him, of all people.
Answer:-Why? Would it rather have been you?

Women have the last word!

WIFE VS. HUSBAND

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position. As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

W O R D S

A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

30,000 to a man's 15,000.

The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

CREATION

A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time." The wife responded, "Allow me to explain . God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me;  God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you!"

Political Jokes

Political Jokes

How poor are you?

Nice Story To Inspire You

Funny Time - LOL

Nice Jokes

World's Round UP - 8th Nov 2010

1. Politics and nation
2. International
3. Finance Economy